Whenever I enter a conversation, I witness the clash between identity and ideology. During seminars, I side with females; in a room filled with white people, I often feel guarded. We tend towards those who are similar to us. Perhaps, however, the problem is more specific: politics impact our daily social interactions.
Awareness is important, since our lives are sometimes dictated by factors beyond our control. Blindly accepting these conditions skews our view of reality.
Even so, obsessing over unjust yet uncontrollable circumstances can be disheartening, since it can feel like politics triumphs personal agency. It can also keep us from connecting to those who are different. For much of my childhood, I didn’t understand homeless people. Whenever I saw them in NYC, I would ask my parents, “Why can’t they work harder to get a job?” It wasn’t until years later that I became aware of stagnant wages, soaring rents, domestic violence — and my own privileged perspective. No one chooses homelessness, but I was unable to understand this because I divorced the personal from the political and saw only the latter.
Still, I’m left wondering: How do we evaluate people’s personal feats, versus their political orientations?
Admittedly, I’m not entirely sure. But I do hope that, whenever we meet someone new, we enter the discussion not with preconceived judgements, but with open-mindedness.
That’s not to say we should disregard the political aspects of ourselves completely — sometimes, coalitions and exposing inequity is the only way to take down the status quo. We should demand equality and hold people responsible for the consequences of their beliefs.
Nevertheless, today, we too often label people based on first impressions. We should instead listen to people’s full stories — their successes, failures, pains, dreams. Despite our individuality, we should enter foreign spaces bearing in mind the simple experiences we all share: getting hurt, giving and seeking love, feeling alone. This, I believe, can set the foundation for genuinely respecting our multifaceted narratives, without the looming shadow of our premature assumptions. Perhaps we’re being idealistic, implying that the personal can prevail over the political — but, if it’ll help us all to connect, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
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